It’s a strange  sensation experienced by those in grief. 
The feeling that the rest of the world is moving along at its normal,  fast pace—speeding by, even—while your entire world has stopped in its  tracks.  You can’t breathe.  But the birds are still flying and  chirping, people are still driving to work and posting silly jokes on Facebook,  and life goes on all around you.

My baby  sister had her first baby one month ago.   We were all giddy with excitement.   The showers had been thrown, the nursery was ready, and we were eager to meet my niece, Phoenix Roanne, who was so smart, she waited until her due date to come!  My sister lives in Kansas City (I’m in St. Louis), so I’d been keeping up with phone calls and texts as to the progress of the labor and when we went to bed that night, Beth was still at 5 cm and we were looking at a possible c-section. The next morning, I had an email from my mom: 
“Congratulations!  You’re an aunt.”  
 
With a smile on my face, I poured a cup of coffee and sat down to call my mom and get all the  wonderful details.  But when she answered the phone, she immediately turned it over to my dad who said, “There’s a problem with the baby.”
 
And just like that, it happened.  That thing people talk about-how the air got sucked out of the room. He went on to explain that her hands and feet were “webbed.” He said the doctors think there are five digits in each hand, but they are so fused, her hands almost look
like pads or mittens.  And there’s something not quite right about the shape of her brow. 
They’ve taken blood to do chromosomal testing. 
 
Since Phoenix did not have any respiratory, digestive, or heart concerns, she was allowed to
leave the hospital with her parents after the normal 5-day stay after a c-section.  We remained concerned that something had been missed and that she may be in danger.

After a full month of waiting on pins and needles, Phoenix was finally diagnosed with
Aperts Syndrome.  It’s a genetic disease in which the seams between the skull bones fuse earlier than normal, affecting the shape of the head and face.  It also causes complicated fusing/webbing of the hands and feet.  Children with Aperts often go through 15-20 major surgeries by the time they are 10 years old.  The hands and feet are a process themselves, but the most concerning surgeries are the craniofacial ones.  There are many issues that can develop:  sleep apnea, hearing and vision loss, intestinal mal-rotation, brain injury, and many others.  
  
We appreciate your prayers for Baby Phoenix and my family as we move forward.  We’ve been knocked down by a punch that came out of nowhere, but we know that God was not surprised.  His Word says that she is fearfully and wonderfully made, and we rest in
His promise that He cares for us and He knows the weight of this heartache.  Sometimes bad situations aren’t made “okay”in the end, at least from a human point of  view.  Sometimes they are just terrible things that we have to live with and make the best of. 

The world keeps on spinning even when we are stuck to the ground on which we stand, but we are standing on a hope and a peace that He knows and we ARE in His hand.  
 
Grace and peace,
Becky

Back in May, our dearest Jacqueline married the love of her life, Travis Foley.  Words aren’t enough to express the wonderful joy we have, that God has brought Jacqueline and Travis together.  As many of you may know, Jacqueline’s divorce was one of the saddest times of her life – when she found that her first husband decided that he didn’t want to be married anymore.  For so long, she agonized and cried over this, blaming herself.  Until one day, through her prayers, she heard “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”  When God reminded her of this, she finally moved on and looked to Him for the next journey in her life.

There have been many times after rehearsal and concerts that I would go home to my husband and family. . .I would often think of Jacqueline, and my heart would ache because I wanted her to have a husband to go home to, too.  This sweet, caring, smart, beautiful and Godly friend of mine – she deserved every bit of happiness!  And that was my constant prayer for her.  I also prayed that someday, soon I hoped, she would find her a Christian man who was tall, dark and handsome. 

Sure enough, our prayers were answered.  Jacqueline met Travis Foley at our very first Evidence concert and Jacqueline now has her happily ever after;  her tall, dark and handsome Travis.  Thank you, Lord, for answering our prayers – You knew all along the plans for Jacqueline’s life; plans to give her a future and a hope.

Hi everyone, Julie here.  No, I have not dropped out of Evidence Sings or off the face of the earth.  I have been on a short leave of absence due to vocal concerns that – hallelujah! – have finally been diagnosed.  If you want the short story, I was diagnosed with acid reflux.  If you want the details, read on!

Back in February I began noticing that I was becoming hoarse on a weekly basis, usually after teaching preschool music and directing our church’s 2nd and 3rd grade choir.  By Thursday, I had what I affectionately called my “Thursday voice”.  I thought I just needed a break to completely heal.  In March, I drove down to Florida to visit my sister for a week and planned to sing at her church that Sunday morning.  I was still hoarse and did not have my “singing voice” back yet.  By Sunday, I could sing the song during sound check but during the hymn singing prior to my solo, I realized I was still missing a couple of the higher notes.  I just had air and no sound coming out.  I prayed that God would make it happen and supply the missing notes.  I was singing one of my favorites which is Psalm 103:2-5.  Praise the LORD, O my soul and forget not all His benefits.  He redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.  He satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles’.    My sister, Amy, accompanied me beautifully on the piano, which is a treat in itself.  I sang and God gave me every note in the song.  To Him be the glory.  By the end of the service, my voice was back to the way it had been.  God gave me just what was needed for the moment.

After 10 days of vocal rest (with that one exception), my voice wasn’t really in better shape than before.  I was becoming concerned that I might need more than rest.   The director at our preschool facility even suggested a switch: I would do the assistant director job while the assistant would teach music for me for 2 weeks to give me additional rest.  My thoughts flew to nodules on my chords, surgery, botched surgery, never singing again, using my hands to lead the deaf since I could no longer sing…you know how it goes.  However, my first diagnosis from the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor was that allergies were the cause of my hoarseness.   Great news!  I just needed allergy medication and then all would be well.  The dr. saw my vocal chords and felt that allergies explained their appearance and that if I did not sing until it felt better that I would be fine. 

After 1 week on the meds I began to sing and the hoarseness came back.  The following week I had my next appointment with the ENT dr. at which I was getting an endoscopy.  The dr. found a small nodule (callous) on one vocal chord.  He told me not to sing, shout or whisper and make an appointment with another ENT dr. who is a “singer’s specialist”.  Another three weeks.  Good grief. 

Finally, on May 17, I got great news from this new, wonderful dr.  He did another endoscopy, this time with a video camera attached and we got to watch the video and he showed me that my chords were nodule-free (hooray!) but that they and the areas around them were swollen from acid reflux!  He said I am free to sing and that as I make the changes he outlined my sound will become clear again.  Whew! 

(Here’s a shout out to my evidence girls for filling in the gaps that I left and doing an awesome job picking up the slack.  It is not easy to re-learn entire songs or bits of songs in a different singing part.  But they did for three events- one a full concert of songs to re-learn!  You girls rock!)

So the good news for me is that I can sing without worry of damaging anything and go back to life as normal (mostly). 

Here’s some of what I learned (remembered!): 

 My voice is a gift to be taken care of all the time.  Not just when I singing but when I’m shouting at a ballgame, getting the attention of my students or just talking past the point of tiredness.  I will not be taking this for granted  any time soon.
            
 God loves me.  I already knew that one.  But I really felt it during this upheaval of my life.  I could feel it through my kind friends and family.  Through my co-workers and boss.  And mostly through keeping my ability to sing!  I was prepared to praise Him without use of my voice if I had to, which is what I was practicing during my vocal rest.  I became a very passionate mouther J during worship and surprisingly found a real connection to God that way. 

God is big.  I am small.  His will is good and perfect.  

You’ll be seeing me onstage again soon with my evidence girls.  God gave the four of us such a desire to sing to Him and I’m so grateful that I get to be a part of it!